Review - updated

About a year ago, a good friend of mine began her long battle for a divorce she wasn't ready for. Over the course of time, the battle has gotten more and more difficult, forcing her to test and push her own limits, question her goals and the life she believed was hers. It has been, for her, a year's worth of self-doubt, indecision, hair-pulling frustration and more sessions of "ask the expert" than any home-remodeling series has ever faced. Ultimately, she's coming through better for the struggles. She's redefining herself on her own merits. She's becoming the grown-up she always wanted to be.

I've been the shoulder, the ear, the sounding board, whatever you want to refer to my position as - I have supported her. I have not put her off for any reason when she calls on those days when "Hello" is all I need to hear to understand she's buckling.

I don't tell her to calm down. I don't tell her she's all worked up over nothing. I push her to get angry, to consider what she's really angry about and how best to deal with each scenario that pops up.

About a year ago, I thought the divorce would go more smoothly than it has. I didn't expect that her Ex would get as hostile and demanding as he has. I wasn't thinking that my friend would be going through more than her fair share of frustration. I was wrong.

What have I gained? One year. My friend, she jokes that she should start paying me for our "sessions." I've already told her what she's given me in exchange - the best year in my own relationship...perhaps since our first year together. But, why?

All the things that piss me off and that I do to piss off The Man still go on. But I think it was originally Maya Angelou that said something about knowing better and then doing better. When this kind of divorce happens this close, a person learns to know better. The Man and I are both the types to do what we know to be in our own best interests at every turn available.

We've had an amazing year around here. And the best part of that?

There's more to come.

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Update: A few choice words from the song list of the day. I admit it - I'm such a sappy pansy! Feel free to play "name that tune/artist."

"But all I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya."

"You say you'll give me a highway with no one on it, ... a river in a time of dryness, a harbor in the tempest."

"You stood by me and I stood tall. You were my eyes when I couldn't see and saw the best there was in me."

"Put it on and don't say a word. Put it on and stand before my eyes."

"I never thought tonight could ever be this close to me."

"I want to hold the hand inside you. I want to take a breath that's true. ...I look to you to see the truth."

"You ask how my day was. You held your breath and the door for me. Thanks for your patience."

"A love that I cannot hide."

"It always ends up to one thing...and I can't think of right words to say."

"One part of me just wants to tell you everything. One part just needs the quiet. And on the telephone you offer visions dancing."

"And you became the light on the dark side of me."

"...Nothing will its power stand. There is no deeper wave than this."

"A million reasons life to deny, let's toss them away...together, share this smile..."

"And they whirl and they twirl and they tangle. Singin' and jinglin' a jangle. Rollin' like the heavens above..."

"Sometimes dear, you tell me I'm an asshole, sometimes you're an asshole too. Even though we're filled with imperfections, I don't think any less of you."

"I want to make the world brand new..."

"You speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhymes. ...Kiss you so hard, I'll take your breath away and after I'd wipe away your tears."

"Did you think you didn't have to choose? That I alone could win or lose it? You put on and I receive."

"Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears and make them all my souvenirs."

"Held my hand now and I let her take me, blind as a child. All I saw was the way that she made me smile."

"When the years have done irreparable harm, I can see us walkin' slowly arm in arm."

"...but to you I gave my affection right from the start."

"Cannot believe what I see. All I have wished for will be. ...Kiss me once more that I may, that I may wear my love like heaven."